living up to my potential

I’m having one of those days where I wake and think I’m not living up to my potential. Listened to the audacity of hope speech while walking to work and felt even worse. Maybe I should go climb Mount Rainier this summer?

Then I read this wsj article.

The explosive growth in marathons, triathlons and other endurance sports comes largely from midlife converts such as Mr. Waxman, the Ironman triathlete. // His exercise regimen intensified about seven years ago, eventually hitting two hours each weekday and up to five or six hours each Saturday and Sunday. // In his view, his athletic ambition shouldn’t have surprised his wife. It arose from the same qualities that drove him to obtain two law degrees, an MBA and his position at Merrill Lynch. // His gargantuan training hours last summer were aimed at a particularly elite goal—a swim across the English Channel, which he achieved in September. “The English Channel thing, hopefully my wife and kids see it as a little bit inspiring,” he says.

Reminds me of this nytimes article: marriage is not great terrain for overachievers.

How to imagine St Petersburg in Toronto

Image from other-st-petersburg.ru

Steven and Haina decided to visit St Petersburg this year.

I decided to find the best guide to St Petersburg.

“Why this site is so disorienting // Most websites and city guides try to make things easy for their users. This one does not. // In fact, it deliberately sets out to lead its visitors astray, to tempt them down unknown paths, to plunge them into the thick of the St Petersburg fog. In short, to get them well and truly lost.”

It is not hard to name a film that leaves too little to the imagination. Can the same be said of traveling? Maybe the only thing better than visiting St Petersburg is not visiting St Petersburg.

How to imagine St Petersburg in Toronto
+The Double (play & film)
+Russian Revolution Reenactment
+25 dollar tickets to Shostakovich’s Symphony No. 11 “The Year 1905“
+Does throwing a shot of vodka into an Americano make it a Russo?

single-minded immersion

I’m turning thirty in 377 days. Denise asked me if I have a particular goal. No, the answer is not to do inversions with the grace of Briohny Smyth, although I think this is an amazing example of flow.

I have never set a concrete goal but I used to think that, by the time I turn thirty, I will know who I am and what I want. I now realize that I will never get there but I think I’m getting a little bit closer. When a relationship ends due to differences in long term goals, it is only natural to question those long term goals.

I still feel very strongly about my work. I feel flow at work. Not every moment but most days. I don’t think relationships generate flow in and of themselves. As much as I love my parents, I do not feel flow when I walk with them in the ravine close to their house. But when people have common goals, they can be in flow together. I love hiking with my parents.

Hypothesis

Who I Am: Someone who enjoys single-minded immersion
What I Want: Doing challenging things on my own and with people I like

Now that I have a hypothesis, time to do some testing. Seeing someone who is not super interested in traveling and seeing Chinese tourists running around LA carrying LV bags, I started to question why I love to travel. The answer is actually I don’t love to travel. In and of itself. Will I be upset if I do not visit Taj Mahal before I die? No. I’m happy to learn history from Wikipedia. What I love about traveling is the experience of getting lost and finding my way again. But I get the same experience from writing, which I can do everyday. So my goal for the next 377 days is to explore the here and now. Maybe taking a few days off to write. To practice single-minded immersion. Or inversion.