On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning – part iii

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Seven or eight years ago. I cannot remember because I forgot to blog about it. Someone read “On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning” to me.

When he got to this part

“Let’s test ourselves – just once. If we really are each other’s 100% perfect lovers, then sometime, somewhere, we will meet again without fail.”

I stopped him and said

“Why? why do people do this to themselves”

Some time later. Maybe a month maybe a year. I said I was considering a job that required me to move. That was the beginning of the end.

That was how most things ended. And no I was not testing him to be romantic. Part of it is simple selfishness. Part of it thinking life is unfair because so many women quit their jobs to follow some guy wherever his job takes him.

“A sad story, don’t you think?”

I don’t think it’s a sad story actually.

“What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.” *

I think remembering all the messes we’ve made in the past stops us from messing up the present. Too much.

2011. I wrote that I would stop this test.

2013. I take a job that takes me away from Toronto a lot. But hey, at least I did not become a flight attendant!

Listening to let her go

*The Unbearable Lightness of Being

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