The last time Ah-Dur and I communicated, I was not in a good place. He had the (mis)fortune of trying to meet up with me the day after S and I broke up. But whatever pain I felt at the time, real or illusory, pales in comparison against what Ah-Dur has experienced since then. Unwinding sixteen months of life is nothing compared to unwinding sixteen years of life. Steven Chen tried to explain this to me when he took me to takesushi. Think about what you had with this person versus what you have with friends that you have known for years. But I was too busy crying into my sashimi to understand.
Both Ah-Dur and I are in better places now. I’m running, reading Gretchen Rubin, living with a happiness checklist. He is meditating, reading Leo Babauta, living without goals and plans. But I hope he does not apply this to every aspect of life because random walk in Alaska (we are thinking late July or August) may become dancing with bears.
These days, however, I live without goals, for the most part. It’s absolutely liberating, and contrary to what you might have been taught, it absolutely doesn’t mean you stop achieving things.
It means you stop letting yourself be limited by goals.
Let go of plans. Plans are not really different than goals. They set you on a predetermined path. But it’s incredibly difficult to let go of living with plans, especially if you’re a meticulous planner like I am. So allow yourself to plan, when you feel you need to, but slowly feel free to let go of this habit.
“A good traveller has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.” Lao Tzu
P.S. I do not subscribe to the philosophy of living without goals. Setting goals makes me happy. Achieving goals sometimes makes me happy. But I’m usually working on another set of goals by then so the outcome is somewhat irrelevant.
FUTURA LE SPECIMEN ANIMÉ from Thibault de Fournas on Vimeo.
- super cute cappuccino at R Squared
- received box of chocolate from SOMA: 8 year old balsamic vinegar, Douglas fir, bergamot (i.e. my favorite flavors)
- physics concepts presented as pop art (I saw his portfolio for architecture school; I’m impressed that people can spend eight months putting together stuff just to apply to a program); his fav font is futura
- Dad got me a floss brush, which makes flossing everyday in 2012 a much more achievable goal
Blown away by this film.
Using 3D to spectacular effect (interesting that two of the best films made using this technique have been documentaries: Werner Herzog’s Cave of Forgotten Dreams and Pina), Wenders opens up the dances, employing the streets and parks of Wuppertal — where Bausch’s company, Tanztheater Wuppertal, is based — as exciting backdrops to some of her best-known productions. Her version of Stravinsky’s The Rite of Spring is justly famous; dancers leave traces of their movements in earth. Equally fine is “Café Mueller,” where, in a dreamlike trance, dancers move with eyes closed to Purcell-scored music. Pedro Almodóvar used a section of this piece in Talk to Her. For the equally imaginative “Vollmond,” set designer Peter Pabst provided an onstage waterfall through which the performers dance. “Kontakthof” allows Wenders his own directorial moment: he shoots this piece in three versions, each time using dancers of a different age.
Wenders is considering a 3D documentary on architecture.
2011 ended on an unexpected note. My paternal grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. My extended family all agreed that it would be best for him to stay at a place specially designed for people with Alzheimer’s. One week after he left home, he passed away.
To be honest, I cannot remember what we talked about the last time I talked to him. But I am grateful for all the memories of my childhood; I used to follow him around fishing and reciting Chinese poems.
I’m also grateful for:
- having an always supportive mum (even though her new year’s wish is for me to be more normal)
- having an always supportive dad (even though he yelled at me for not pointing out a highway exit in Los Angeles)
- having someone who always calls when he said he would (e.g. 11:45 on new year’s eve)