fifth decade

stretched out on my bed in my parents house. staring at the same klimt poster from long ago (girl in white). trying to do a self assessment (it was due last friday but i told hr not possible)

in a way i am always assessing myself. replaying the daily (non) events of my life. trying to recreate the galvanizing moments

at our get together, stephen said: it will be our fifth decade. i looked confused. denise clarified: eighties, nineties, oughties, twenty tens and twenty twentys. i laughed: well denise you certainly have changed since you did not inhale all the desserts by yourself

i was told that i haven’t changed very much. in a way this is true

one: i continue to take pictures of clouds. on my first business trip, sam said: is this your first time on a plane? i think to myself: nop but i strive to be a self indulgent individual

(self indulgent. characterized by doing or tending to do exactly what one wants)

two: i continue to play the piano but not necessarily playing the same songs. this week, mum has requested butterfly lovers as arranged by richard clayderman

(non self indulgent. playing a song on the piano that really should be performed on the erhu)

but the cloud snapping piano playing version of me was insistently attacked by the fear of missing out. different people exhibit different FOMO symptoms and i entered this departing decade with a very specific obsession

the past nine months, I have struggled with the idea of going to Asia to work. I whined about how easy it is for guys to find supportive wives and how hard it is for women to find supportive husbands. I went through a break up. I cried. By now, I have told everybody: no, I’m not going. And I feel okay. Which is really amazing”

what is even more amazing is his declaration that he is interested in moving to hong kong while trying out izipizi sun glasses at kapok. my thought: is this the power of designer eye wear or is he delusional from being dragged around the steamy streets of hong kong a bit too much. my response: i don’t know … if you cannot deal with summer humidity in bermuda …

p.s you get what you need

boring, not boring


It has been almost five years since the last “my life is boring” crisis. Living in Bermuda provides a sort of redefinition. On the one hand, there is no hipster coffee shop opening in my neighborhood every weekend; there is zero hipster coffee shop in my neighborhood. On the other hand, looking out the window is like looking into a GGM novel

We didn’t travel much in 2018 and will probably travel less in 2019 but planning a trip to Chicago. In 2012, we enjoyed Gold Coast; Oak Park; Wicker Park. In 2019, looking forward to

Wicker Park for chop shop

Humboldt Park for scofflaw: “gin-focused cocktail menu”

North Center (just realized this area is not called Roscoe Village) for bari zaki studio

married life

A few weeks ago, we had the pleasure of attending the amazing wedding of Darlin. I’m really not a wedding person but I’m thinking all weddings should be scheduled such that the kiss occurs at sunset. On the coast of British Colombia. Something about those silhouettes in that fading light.

– – –

After we got married in August 2014, many people asked: How’s married life?

My response: We’ve been living together for a while so the same as non-married life?

Looking back, maybe something did shift that summer. Because I haven’t had a my life is boring OMG moment since then.

It’s not entirely clear.

– – –

Walking along the bamboo forest in Arashiyama, he decided that he wanted a grapefruit drink. So we bought two grapefruit drinks. It was expensive.

As I put down the one on the left, I said: Let me take a picture of my grapefruit

As he put down the one on the right, he said: Take a picture of my grapefruit too

The fashion couple that created the tiffany campaign are not together anymore.

We don’t have a shared bank account but maybe we should get a shared instagram account?

It’s not entirely clear.



Wow!!! It’s been 33 months since I had a “my life is boring” moment. And another interesting experience this week.

On Tuesday, I got up at 4 am for my 8 am flight because I need to renew my work visa. I went into secondary and waited and waited and got rejected. Even though I’ve had TN visa for most of my working life. The upside is that, on the ride back on the Union Pearson, I got a nice view of the sun rising over Toronto.

This weekend: attempt visa renewal at land border. The upside is that, he’s been wanting to visit Buffalo for a while. We are thinking silo city and blue sky mausoleum.

Next weekend: hot pot party with Anne & Josh.

Next next weekend: celebrate his birthday.

Next next next weekend: he will make roast for my mum’s birthday.