feeling of discovery

2019 most definitely did not unfold the way that I expected. I expected to be busy and miss the big trip with mum and dad. So I planned a little trip to celebrate mum’s birthday sky diving in wasaga beach and hiking around georgian bay islands. Then something shocking happened on the big trip and we could not make the little trip

My dad says, this is a sign that you should not go sky diving

As for me, I am not sure what this is a sign of. Perhaps the best way to summarize the situation is a feeling of discovery. Seeing my parents navigating an uncomfortable situation helps me better understand them as people. Borrowing words from hiraku suzuki (we saw the wall in sapporo)

“I always try to draw something inspired by a moment, for example that a man walking in front of me suddenly looks to the side and the pattern of the back of the clothe looks twisted. A residual vision of a building I saw far from the train window. A moment where I saw weird signboard and graffiti. Of course there is a difference between the memory and what I draw”

hp

p.s i bought them this book

img src=chroniclebooks

nothingness

It is that time of the year again. One of the bloggers I follow created a hanami map of Paris. I don’t think such a map is necessary for Bermuda. It is impossible to escape the vivaciousness of the season

It is also the season when I tend to think about the opposite of vivaciousness. The opposite of life. Death. Nothingness

One beautiful April morning in 2013, I took the bus from Akko to Tzfat: “Down below the Old City of Tzfat, towards the base of the mountain, lies the famous cemetery of Tzfat. People come to the cemetery from all over the world, to sit, pray, beseech, or simply be in the company of the great rabbis who are buried there”

Question: Why should I make the most of every moment?

Answer: Because I’m alive. Because I can

little crazy (COUNT=1735)

i++ still reading subtle art and following markmanson

Knowing your own emotional bullshit. Once you see all the icky, uncomfortable stuff you’re feeling, you’ll begin to get a sense of where your own little crazy resides. For instance, I get really touchy about being interrupted. I get irrationally angry when I’m trying to speak and the person I’m speaking to is distracted. I take it personally. And while sometimes it is just them being rude, sometimes shit happens and I end up looking like a total dickface because I can’t stand going two seconds without every word I speak being respected. That’s some of my emotional bullshit. And it’s only by being aware of it that I can ever react against it

i++ another beautiful sunset

the subtle art

reading this to celebrate upcoming bday

p21: This book is not some guide to greatness–it couldn’t be, because greatness is merely an illusion in our minds, a made up destination that we obligate ourselves to pursue, our own psychological Atlantis // Instead, this book will turn your pain into a tool, your trauma into power, and your problems into slightly better problems. That is real progress. Think of it as a guide to suffering and how to do it better, more meaningfully, with more compassion and more humility

p68: Yet, later in his life, Onoda said he regretted nothing. He claimed that he was proud of his choices and his time on Lubang. He said that it had been an honor to devote a sizable portion of his life in service to a nonexistent empire

p78 (Rock Star Problems): The question is not whether we evaluate ourselves against others; rather, the question is by what standard do we measure ourselves? // Dave Mustaine, whether he realized it or not, chose to measure himself by whether he was more successful and popular than Metallica. The experience of getting thrown out of his former band was so painful for him that he adopted “success relative to Metallica” as the metric by which to measure himself and his music career // If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success

Issui Enomoto is a taxi cab driver in Japan’s port city of Yokohama. But he’s also a photographer