happy 40th anniversary

He and my dad had a disagreement

Then my mum and I had a disagreement about how to resolve the first disagreement

Then we reconciled over costco chicken

Dear Therapist: The beauty of balancing the equation is that the mere act of doing so moves you from feeling helpless to claiming agency. You might get more open communication and greater respect and appreciation, or you might not—but you will definitely get less resentment, because your side of the equation is completely under your control

baby wise

p30: practice couch time. at the end of each day, spend at least 15 minutes sitting with your spouse discussing the day’s events. this simple gesture provides children a tangible sense of their parents’ togetherness

p59: in the short and long run, putting baby to bed while he is drowsy but still awake facilitates longer and stronger sleep cycles than if placed in the crib already asleep

p60: if you baby is placed in his own room and you are unsure about that arrangement, consider purchasing a monitor, which will alert you to any immediate need your baby might have

p76: Are growth spurts predictable? There is some disagreement on this. While some clinicians believe growth spurts happen ten days after birth followed by three weeks, six weeks, three months and six months, others say the timing varies from baby to baby

p83: during the first week of life, when a baby tends to be more sleepy, it is sometimes difficult to get a baby to burp. if after trying for 5 minutes, the baby is more interested in sleeping than burping, place her in the infant seat rather than her crib

p92: after your baby is sleeping through the night 8 hours, the first and last feeding of the day become the two key strategic feedings. it does not matter if your baby is on 3, 4 or 4.5 hour routine, all other feed wake sleep cycles will fall within those two fixed feeding times and thus, they need to remain fairly consistent

p98: Breastfeeding mum must stay mindful of her milk production. Allowing a baby to sleep longer than 10 hours a night may not provide enough stimulation in 24 hour period to maintain an adequate supply. While this may not hold true for all mothers, it will have an impact on some, especially those in their mid 30’s or older

p108: Do not allow a wake feed sleep order to overtake the established feed wake sleep routine

p110: life will be less tense when parents consider the context of a situation and respond appropriately for the benefit of everyone. thoughtful parental responses often determine whether a child is a blessing to others or a source of mild irritation

p111: Mom will be holding baby while she feeds him. Take advantage of these routine opportunities to gaze into his eyes, talk to him and gently stroke his arms, head and face

p114: Having tummy time on a blanket as part of the baby’s routine can begin once he is able to hold his head up consistently, which usually happens between 12 and 16 weeks

p121: Healthy sleep has two primary components that most parents are unwilling to give up: a baby who sleeps through his naps without waking and one who sleeps in his crib for those naps. While both are important, one must be temporarily suspended for the greater good of the baby who is showing signs of fatigue

p129: If you have not already, get into the habit of checking your baby all over once a day, including fingers and toes. Certainly look for the bug bites, which will often show up as a red skin bump. There is also a condition // called toe tourniquet syndrome

p130: If your baby is troubled by reflux, you can count on it showing up throughout the day, not just at naptime

p131: By starting a new food at noon or at dinner, you run the risk of pushing the reaction to the middle of the night when sleep disturbances are more difficult to discern

p136: Natural light is important to help babies regulate their circadian clock // while newborns can sleep just about anywhere and under any conditions, the light sensitivity begins to change after three months of age

p137: Prior to four months of age, we recommend keeping the crib mobiles in their boxes. When they come out, put them over the playpen rather than the crib // even the flickering of of light from television can over stimulate a baby

p229: Try changing her diaper between sides, undressing her or rubbing her head and feet with a cool, damp washcloth. Do what you must to keep her awake. Then finish the task at hand: a full feeding

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